By MEIRION SHAW

As told by Rachel Rickard Straus, Money Editor for The Daily Mail and Mail on Sunday

Published in The Mail on Sunday on 9 February 2025

As a professional downsizer, I have helped thousands of people move from the home where they have spent most of their lives to a smaller one to enjoy their later years. Get the downsize right and it can launch the next exciting chapter. But get it wrong and it can leave you regretful and struggling to move on. Here are the ingredients for success I have learned.

The time to start your planning is right now

Realistically there may be only a handful of properties that would fit your ideal downsize. Most people tend to stay in the same area and, within that, few will be appropriate. If you have identified them well in advance, you can pounce when they come on the market.

One of my clients had only one property in her village that she could imagine downsizing to, and when it finally became available she was ready to go.

I’ve known clients put notes through the doors of homes where they would like to eventually move, asking the owners that when they want to sell they should get in touch – even if it is years down the line.

Get a full survey on your home and fix anything that’s broken

Well before you plan to downsize, get a survey done of your own home.

You may think this is madness – after all, potential buyers will get their own surveys done. But if you have lived in your house for decades, there is a good chance it will have issues that would hold up a sale.

I had one couple who discovered from their survey that the roof of their home of 40 years needed to be replaced. Due to the state of it, potential buyers would have struggled to get a mortgage on the house.

But because they’d had a survey done well in advance, they had time to get it sorted. And when they eventually put the house on the market, there were no hitches.

Another client had a survey and discovered that part of their garden belonged – officially – to their neighbour. While they had legitimately bought the little strip of land from them decades ago, the deeds had never been changed. That would have caused havoc with a potential sale, but they found out in good time and could get the records corrected.

You never know what will trigger you to downsize. It could be the cleaner you’ve had for years retires or the garden or stairs just become too much. Be ready for that day.

Finding a new home that has its own wow factor

People often struggle to downsize because so much of their social kudos comes from their home.

They have spent so many years upsizing into properties that show off their success that moving into a smaller place can be hard.

So find a new home that is impressive in its own way.

That could mean moving further into town where you are seconds from the shops and cafes.

I helped a widow, Anne, to downsize last year from a five-bedroom townhouse into a flat with the most beautifully maintained communal garden. It even had a small maze for her grandchildren to play in. Plenty to impress friends when they visit.

Get an outsider to help manage your family

As professional downsizers, one of the most important roles my team and I perform is mediating.

Even the nicest families can get nasty when money is involved, but having an outsider around can help keep everyone on good behaviour.

Before the move takes place, we help the downsizers to build a digital inventory of their possessions. We label everything with where it’s going – what they are taking with them and what they plan to ditch.

They can then share this with family members who can say what they would like – either now or later on.

This process has the added advantage of making probate easier further down the line.

If tensions arise, we can sort them rather than the downsizers, who have enough on their hands. Sometimes, getting valuations of supposedly expensive items can cool disputes.

When clearing out, keep the best for yourselves

Downsizers often have plates they use every day and a set that they were given on their wedding day that they bring out for special occasions. Since they can usually take just one set, I always suggest they opt for their best.

They are often shocked, saying: ‘Surely we can’t just use the fancy plates for every day?’ But then they love it.

So what if a bit of the gold rim fades – dinner services are not worth that much and you may as well enjoy yours.

Establish how much room you will have 

To work out how much stuff you can take, plan storage in advance.

If you know you will have just one clothes rail, then you can measure it and plan to take only what will fit. You can do the same with books, kitchen items – the lot.

Then, when you move in, you’ll have a home for everything.

Refrain from putting anything into storage

In our experience, you will never get it out again.

My one exception was for a client with severe dementia who had a wonderful hat collection that she had worn to Ascot over the years. She loved them all but had no space for them.

We put them into storage and every week her daughter would take one out and give it to her mum for her to admire and enjoy.

At the end of the week, the daughter would then drop off the hat at a charity shop.

Her mum was not well enough to remember the hats that had gone, but she still got joy from each one.

Children may be willing to help… but not able

You may have wonderful grown-up children who would love to help you downsize, but most have families and busy lives of their own and won’t have the time.

We downsizers are like surrogate daughters – helping where a grown-up child would if they had the time or lived nearby.

I started my business, The Homemover Specialist, in 2012, after I saw first-hand what a difference having proper hands-on and emotional support can make.

My mother-in-law and godmother downsized at the same time, but due to logistics I was only able to help my mother-in-law. She was left ready for her next adventure, whereas my godmother was physically and emotionally exhausted.

As downsizers, we help from start to finish – from finding a property to sorting your belongings, to unpacking and setting up the broadband.

As your future changes pass on your history

Downsizers often have stacks of photos of family members that younger generations could not identify. There are great services now that can digitise these memories.

We helped one couple go through albums and pick out every great-great aunt and long-lost cousin. They then put them all into just one album for their children, so they had a record of their family history.

Take a good look at your marriage

Couples who have got on well all their married lives can struggle when they downsize.

The biggest tension is often going from a TV set each to sharing one. Couples must adjust from living almost independent lives in a large home to sharing a smaller space.

One couple downsizing to a two-bed flat were planning to have a guest bedroom. The husband clearly spent most of his time in his study, so I suggested they turn the spare room into a bedroom/study – and it saved them future anguish.

The right fit for your belongings

It’s easier to let go of belongings you cherish if you find them a good home.

We helped one gentleman who could not bring himself to get rid of the teddies that were once so loved by his children. But when we found a charity that distributed them to children who had none, he was happy to let them go.

Think before moving in with your family

We often see people downsizing into their grown-up son or daughter’s annexe, miles away from their former home.

They can quickly become lonely because they don’t have a wider social network – and things can get tense when they are reliant on their son or daughter to get out and about.

The son thinks, ‘What’s the problem – they eat with us a couple nights a week and come for Sunday lunch’ but the older parent quickly misses their old life and wishes they hadn’t moved.

Leaving your nice chairs

Last year I helped a couple to downsize who were determined to bring their beautiful sofa and matching chairs.

But when I went round to their house, I saw they never used them – they were hard to get in and out of and they preferred using the worn ones. If it doesn’t fit into your life, then don’t take it.

Issues with moving to a flat

I see downsizers’ health deteriorate when they move from a house with stairs to a flat on one floor. If you don’t use it you lose it, so make sure you don’t take the lift all the time – and walk to the shops instead of taking the bus or driving.

Out with the old and in with the new

When you’re getting rid of so much, it can be counterintuitive to buy anything new. But sometimes what you have won’t fit your new life. One couple who moved into a care home bought new furniture to suit their new space – it looked great and it made them even more excited to move.

Get help when going through your stuff

Deciding what to keep or get rid of can be overwhelming.

But having an outsider to do it with you – who wants the best for you but does not have emotional attachment to your belongings – can make the job easier. Sometimes the best way of working out what to keep is to tell someone else your reasoning. Saying it out loud is often enough to help you realise what you really want to do.

Making an effort to see both sides

If you are assisting someone to downsize, it can help to understand where their attitudes come from.

For example, we find it’s easy for younger generations to get frustrated with family members in their 80s who struggle to throw things away. But it can help to remember that they were born during the war, when they were taught ‘waste not want not’.

Downsizing is not for everyone

I know one elderly lady who wanted to leave her larger home, but she was in the centre of her community – a member of the choir and other groups. For her, it made more sense to adapt her home than to leave. Today, she is the first person to invite new neighbours round to welcome them.