The decision to downsize often can take many of us by surprise but some are lucky enough to have the time to make a considered decision. Either way, when you are saying goodbye to a lifetime of belongings, each one holding a special memory, the emotional toll is huge and should be recognised.
Understanding these may not change how you feel, but it might help manage them, letting you focus on the upsides of the move.
Grief
This is a completely natural response to change. You may have decided to leave your home of many years where you have a million cherished memories or you need to move due to declining health. You may be moving away from a familiar neighbourhood and good friends.
“Letting go of your home and your belongings can feel like you’re letting go of a particular part of your life. There’s a realisation that you can’t get the past back” explains Dr David Mischoulon, director of the Depression Clinical and Research Program at Harvard-affiliated Massachusetts General Hospital.
Tips for coping with grief:
- Understand that you need to mourn and it is a process and you will get through it. Don’t rush it but it will pass if you work at it.
- Get involved in your new community as quickly as possible. If you sing, join a choir. If you paint, find a local artists group. Or volunteer. Just be busy.
Stress
Moving is stressful no matter what the situation surrounding it is. A downsize magnifies all this especially when coming in later years or following a traumatic separation.
What to bring, how to “rehome” a lifetime of possessions that are not making the move with you can be overwhelming.
“When you’re 70 or older, you don’t have the same organisational or coping skills you had at 30. You can get easily overwhelmed and feel tasks are impossible,” Dr Mischoulon says. And stress is not good for your health.
Tips for coping with stress:
- Enlist as much help as possible – family friends, professionals
- For items that you can’t take with you, either monetise them or donate them so they have a new life with someone who needs them.
Anxiety
Anxiety can creep up on you when you’re worried about the unknown. It may be a financial concern or simply that you’re moving to a new area and having to start again making friends and finding your way around.
Letting go of items whether they are useful or family heirlooms also causes anxiety. “If you’ve lived through tough economic times in the past, there is an element of wanting to hold on to things because you may need them one day,” Dr Mischoulon explains.
Tips for coping with anxiety:
- Follow simple rules for decluttering. Do you love it? Have you used it in the last 12 months? Do you have other items serving the same purpose? Are you keeping it out of guilt or sense of responsibility?
- Hand family heirlooms onto the next generation. And if you can replace something for less than £20 in less than 20 minutes and there’s no room for it, let it go.
Remember, we never have all the answers at any stage of our lives. And that’s OK.
The Homemover Specialist’s extensive expertise can help you to restore calm to the chaos and support you every step of the way.
If you would like a chat about how The Homemover Specialist could help you move house and reduce your anxiety contact us on 01483 255895 or by email
